


Same Ground

by BornOnTheDayOfEarthquakes



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gen, Mourning, Past Character Death, Touka and Hinami are also here but very briefly, set after ch 99 of :re
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 13:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8446906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BornOnTheDayOfEarthquakes/pseuds/BornOnTheDayOfEarthquakes
Summary: Kaneki lights a candle.





	

**Author's Note:**

> also on [tumblr](http://missingmagician.tumblr.com/post/152616508285/same-ground)
> 
> written for All Soul's Day
> 
> The title is from the song "Same Ground" by Kitchie Nadal. It played from my playlist while I was writing this and I thought it was fitting to the story.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~I just realized that ch 99 occurred around January and this happens on November but hey~~

 

It’s a glorious night. There are no missions. No ghoul restaurants to raid, no investigators to capture or attack, no ghouls or humans to set meetings with. Kaneki has his book and bedroom to himself while the rest of the members of the organization keep clear of their presence from him so that he can read in peace.

Kaneki immerses himself in his book for two hours now. His eyes run over lines and lines of prose, processing them and losing himself in the world that these words produce. He nears the end of the twelfth chapter -- which presents a character’s desire after something the character doesn’t fully understand -- when suddenly the lights go out.

His vision is like the murky depths of coffee. He barely sees anything as he gropes for his phone. When his hand finally closes upon the slender device, he presses a button and seeks for the phone’s torch app. He then leaves his book and bed and makes his way downstairs to the coffee shop.

“Ah, Kaneki,” Touka acknowledges him as he appears. She carries a couple of candles sitting on two tiny flowery-painted plates and set them on some of the cafe tables. Their lights illuminate the shop with their small yellow glow. “That was a totally unexpected blackout.”

“Yeah. No announcements of electricity maintenance, right?” Kaneki replies while pocketing his phone. He looks out the windows and sees the rest of the dark city under the dim moonlight.

“None,” Hinami says. She’s carrying two unlit candles on plates as she emerges from the back of the shop. She offers Kaneki one of the candles, of which Kaneki stares at for a long while.

_A boy giggled as he carried a small stout candle and a box of matches, his mischievous smile barely seen but very bright under the moonlight through the open window as two children sat in a dark bedroom..._

“Big brother?” Hinami calls worriedly. And her voice seems to jolt him out of whatever reverie he’s in.

Kaneki takes one of the candles and smiles. “Oh, thank you, Hinami.”

He quickly lights his candle and moves back to his bedroom. He closes the door before he gets overwhelmed by his emotions. Before any pained groan goes past his lips as memories fill his head. Before he cried, which he promised himself he’ll never do again.

He looks around him. Another bedroom, but very different from the one in his thoughts. It’s bare of a study desk, bare of bookshelves filled with school books and novels. Only a bed with plain sheets and a pillow are in sight, as well as the novel he’s reading earlier.

 _The boy’s laughter_  is still clear in his head. It was sweet, it was joyful. It makes his chest feel hollow as he seeks for its source who he knows he’ll never see again -- except perhaps in his dreams and hallucinations.

He sets the candle in the middle of the room. He then pulls his curtains open and opens the windows. Immediately, a draft enters the room, rustling his white hair like a soft caress he longed for so much.

His little candle light flickers but fights on and doesn’t die in the soft breeze.

Kaneki closes his eyes. The tiny light has burned in his irises. He imagines the light, just as _that light_ flickered in the darkness many years ago.

_“You know we’re not supposed to do that, Hide! Children shouldn't play with candles!” his voice was tiny as he complained to the other boy _.__

_But Hide just giggled._ It makes Kaneki smile, despite knowing _he then felt irritated at Hide’s response. Hide carried a small stout candle and a box of matches, which he set down the middle of the room. His mischievous smile was barely seen but very bright under the moonlight through the open window as two children sat in a dark bedroom, Kaneki’s bedroom._

_They were having a sleepover when the blackout happened. Only the two of then were in the house, as the Asaoka family went over to an acquaintance’s house themselves._

_And Hide had the brightest idea to take a candle and a matchbox from the cabinets in the kitchen._

_“We have emergency light,” Kaneki insisted. “Let’s use that instead.”_

_“Don’t worry, Kaneki. I won’t burn your house down.”_

_“B-But!”_

_Hide was already lighting up the candle. He grinned as the light reflected in his wide brown eyes. He turned to Kaneki,_ a childish wonder in his face. Kaneki himself sits next to the candle, _opposite Hide, and stared at the light. It flickered again._

_“I remember a super interesting thing!” Hide said suddenly. “Do you know that there’s a particular day when souls come out to visit the living?”  
_

_“No,” Kaneki replied, swallowing loudly. He wasn’t afraid. Most of the things Hide were interested in were outrageous things. And this was most likely one of them._ Kaneki continues smiling, knowing that he _was_ then afraid but would never admit it.

_“The idea is to light a candle on that a certain day,” Hide continued and said a calendar date. The wonder on his face never left. “It’s said that the light from the candle will guide the lost souls!”_

_Kaneki shivered. He refused to look around in fear. “But that’s today. We shouldn’t light candles or ghosts might come near us!”_

_“No no no, we shouldn’t worry,” Hide assured. “The candle is supposed to guide the souls to light, to brightness. We'll pray and wish for nice things for the souls this candle is lit for, Kaneki!”  
_

_Kaneki pursed his lips. He felt conflicted._

_But he trusts Hide and let the candle burn._

Kaneki places his hands together in prayer. He watches the candle flicker as the wax pool on the flowery-painted plate. It gives small light and warmth, to which Kaneki basks in.

And then a sudden gust blows into the room. It makes the curtain bellow wildly. It opened his novel on the bed and makes the pages turn. Kaneki hurries to close the window to save the light from his tiny candle.

But as suddenly as the gust came does it die down.

He looks at the candle and sees that its light continues to burn. And as he continues to look at the tiny light, he feels another presence in the room.

He swallows. He refuses to believe it. But the name escapes his lips.

“Hide?”

There is a soft breeze, as if in answer.

_The candle burned._

_Hide looked thoughtful._

_“Let’s see,” he said. “Who are we lighting this candle for then...?”_

_Kaneki took a deep breath. Quietly, he replied, “My mom.”_

_“Oh.” Hide looked apologetic. Kaneki gave him a reassuring smile before putting his palm together in prayer. He thought of his mom, of where she could be. He hoped she was well and prayed that she watched over him.  
_

_Kaneki opened his eyes to see that Hide was also praying. It was a brief moment until the other boy also opened his eyes. This time his eyes were filled with sadness._

_“Hey Kaneki,” Hide said slowly. “If I’m gone, will you light a candle for me?”  
_

_“Don’t say such things, Hide!” Kaneki exclaimed loudly that Hide shifted slightly back. Kaneki frowned at his friend. “You won’t be gone! We’ll be together until we’re old and balding and needing canes to walk!”  
_

_“I won’t get bald!” Hide pouted. “You get bald!”  
_

_“That was just an example!”  
_

_The boys went quiet, glaring at each other._

_Kaneki balled his fists. He forced the words out of his mouth._

_“But in case, I’ll light a candle for you,” Kaneki grumbled out. “You’ll be really lost without it cause you’re a bit stupid._ _”_

_“Hey! That’s rude!”  
_

Kaneki swallows the lump on his throat.

“I lit a candle,” Kaneki says. “It’s for you.”

Kaneki feels he’s the stupid one as he talked to nothing like that. And he can’t help feel crazy and _relieved_ as the wind blows again, ruffling his hair.

The candle light remains bright and dancing as it swims in the pool of melted wax. It’ll be gone too soon. Kaneki sits again in front of the candle.

“And the candle light’s also for me. It’s for both of us,” Kaneki whispers. He hangs his head low, closing his eyes as they burn and threaten to spill tears. He smiles. “Because we’re both stupid.”

_“Hey! That’s rude!”_

_But then Hide smiled back at Kaneki._

_“Thank you,” he said earnestly. He moved next to Kaneki to give him a hug.  
_

The soft breeze blows. It feels exactly the caress Kaneki longed for. The candle light finally flickers out and the room is once again thrown in darkness.

The curtains are still, his novel lay open. Kaneki refuses to move. But then finally he lets the choking sobs leave him.


End file.
